East meets West

My two days in Bangkok were a tired adventure. My San Francisco friend Matt, who has lived in Bangkok teaching english for several years, graciously delivered the two giant bags of luggage that he had been holding for all these . After a walk through town and a late dinner, I came back to the hotel and went through everything. In my new-found ability to molt, I steadily packed an entire bag of unnecessary stuff, placed a note saying 'Free Stuff' on the bag and placed it in the hallway of my guesthouse. The next morning, the bag was gone and I was relieved. I miraculously narrowed my belongings to one piece of luggage, a day pack, a carry-on bag and my purse. I couldn't believe it and swelled with pride at the small successes in life.
I joined a tour at 6:45 a.m. to go to the floating market outside of the city. It involved a 1 hour drive in a van and a 20 minute longboat tour. The longboat portion was fascinating as I sat alone in the front row and marvelled at the colorful, simple Thai river life. My mom, stepfather and I went there 13 years ago. Like everything else in Thailand, it changed. A lot. The market still had women with giant straw hats selling fruits and soup. The new addition included shops selling tourist junk and curios on the land surrounding the waterways. Rather than pay an additional 150 baht (approx. $6) to take a rowboat through the market, I sat alongside the waterways and ate some soup ordered from one of the ladies on a boat. I watched as the happy tourists floated past in their boats - polished and smiling - and I felt very, very different all of a sudden. I walked further through the market and joined another boat vendor at the water's edge and ate a mango. People were snapping photos, requesting her to paddle her boat into the sunlight for a better photo opportunity and looking askance at her when she offered to sell them dragonfruit or special apples. So many simply wanted nothing but to take her photo. She smiled the entire time and never tired of her sales pitch, but not much money or fruit changed hands. I marvelled at her ability to pose and smile while these people bought not much of anything from her. The whole market made me somewhat sad. I took solace in eating every bit of Thai food that I had missed and wouldn't be able to obtain back in the USA. That was the soup, the mango and finally hot coconut patties grilled over an open fire with fresh coconut milk glaze. On my way out of the market, I bought a picture of myself on a plate that was snapped by some tour association while I was on the boat. As this was my last day on my year sojourn, I figured "Why not?" I realized it would be the only plate that I owned when I got home and laughed at the idea of eating off of it in the near future. Ha ha!
I took a risk and decided to see the cobra show, touted as 'the greatest show on earth!' You know what? It was, indeed, one of the greatest shows I've ever seen of its kind. The showmen were talented, daring and terrifyingly close to deadly pit vipers. In the first act, a man was on his knees as he released an angry cobra from a cloth bag. He swerved out of the way within millimeters of the repeatedly striking cobra. I could hear it's menacing hiss each time is struck at the air. Another man did the same thing while a mongoose in a plastic cage attacked the striking cobra from below (the cobra was removed before the mongoose killed it). Two men brought the cobra directly to me (I was in front row center, no barrier) and displayed the venom of the snake as he spewed it into a jar. I writhed. They later brought a giant python to the audience for touching. It was cold. One man took on three snakes at once and captured the last one just above the head by diving on top of it and capturing it WITH HIS MOUTH! I wonder how these guys train for this job. The serpentarium was extensive and housed the fattest crocodile I've ever seen. I wondered what he'd just eaten to be so fat and was relieved when the driver told me it was time to leave.

I got back to the hotel and checked e-mail on my laptop that was part of the stuff Matt had stored for me. I wasn't sure how I'd get to the airport and sent up a wish for someone to share a taxi with at 4:00. As if on cue, the waitress asked the couple next to me, "what time is your taxi?" You guessed it, "4:00." I quickly asked if we could share and it was no problem. The young english girl was parting with her boyfriend and heading for India. She was terrified b/c she'd never been there before. This was precisely why she was going. I shared some of my experiences with her, my similar fears, my love of India and although she was nervous, she seemed a little more at ease. I felt like the magic of India was already happening for her by this coincidental meeting. Perhaps, the magic is always happening for all of us everywhere.
The plane ride home was uneventful, except that I met a lovely Thai lady who had left her home for three weeks to go on vacation to CA. Three years later, she lives in CA all alone and only just returned home b/c she had obtained her US green card and could return to the US without any problem. I admired the fact that she just left everything she knew and all the people she loved for a life in a new place. I thought about my family, my friends, my love of CA and doubted that I could be so brave. Or could I?
I flew into LAX on Thai Airways. They played Christmas Carols while we were waiting to dock at the LAX gate. I missed Christmas. In LAX, had to wait for four hours for the connecting flight to San Jose. It was no problem, as I could walk the six terminals over to reach United Airways. I walked along and noticed the usual LA way of people looking at you to assess whether you're famous. I said to myself "this is the last time anyone will look at me so regularly in the United States." And it's all because of television and ; not because I'm a solo white woman walking along.
Inside the airport, I was stunned at how fat so many people were. Just plain fat. And unhappy. Many people were arguing or complaining to eachother, the airport employees or on the cell phone. I tried to see things through a brighter lens, but could not. All around me were fat people rushing to get somewhere and doing many things all at once with scowls on their faces. I felt like I did at the floating market as I sat on the edge of the river watching the tourists go by: different. Yet, I was really, really, really happy to be home. I understood all the signs, I understood the culture and the visa man flirted with me and told me in response to our brief discussion about my bad timing arriving home during the recession: "you can get a job with us. Government jobs are secure. Mine is safe until a pretty girl like you comes along," to which I smiled and said "Well, thanks, sir, that sure is a nice way to be welcomed back to my country." And I meant it. I didn't know how I would be received. All I felt was different and relieved to be home.
So, I waited in the only place that wasn't blasting bad music and reeking of artificial food and alcohol in the airport: Starbucks. I paid $10 for water and a parfait of fruit and yogurt. It hurt to pay that much. Many people buzzed through with computers and cell phones and they all seemed so....busy. Of course, the very particular orders of the people at the counter and the follow up specifications requested by the employees was a spectacle to behold after all that time away. Nothing changed there, except for tazo tea added to the menu, but I quite literally FORGOT about this experience. I felt like I was in the twilight zone. In the meantime, I look just like everybody else (not as fat) and no one knows that there I am, observing it all from a table, and literally TRIPPING OUT!
The plane landed in San Jose. I stepped onto the open staircase from the plane. It had frost on it! The familiar scent of pine and cold air wafted into my nose and I became nostalgic about all those times I'd return to Northern California from my Southern California university for Christmas break and smell that same intoxicating scent of Northern cold and pine. I loved it! I smiled ear to ear as I wrapped a scarf around my neck and proceeded to the airport.
When I saw my mom, stepdad, sister and nephew, it felt like I had seen them only yesterday. They were cheering and smiling. My mom had roses and a "Welcome Home" balloon. My sister had a gift box of pajamas for me "so I wouldn't be cold" and I realized immediately that nothing had changed with my family. I have travelled thousands of miles and lifetimes, and they are the same with regard to me. I am the same with regard to them. We're a well travelled, sweet, loving family (most of the time) and no matter what we do, where we go, or what we experience, the family arms are always open and loving. How lucky I am!
We returned to my mom and stepdad's house in the Los Gatos/Santa Cruz mountains. There was silence and trees all around us. My mom left every single Christmas decoration (including the tree!) up so that I wouldn't miss Christmas. I love my mom.
I slept until 1 p.m. the next day and my mom took me hiking to see a beaver dam built inside Lexington Reservoir (the lake that my folks' live on). The air was brisk and cold, bu the sun was out. I wore a hat and gloves and my mom laughed at me, saying 'it's not that cold, Kyra,' but I felt cold as we trumped along the greens and blues and reds and yellows of the moist trees and soils surrounding her house.
The following morning, I woke up in time to see Obama being inaugurated to the Presidency. He spoke of moving on in times of trouble, just as George Washington had commanded his troops when it seemed they might not win the battle of independence. He's a brilliant man who believes in love, understanding, collaboration, courage, responsibility, dignity, diversity and tolerance. I revere this man. I'm so proud to have him leading America. Our nation needs it in these trying financial times. Many people have lost their jobs and are, just like me, looking for their next meal ticket to continue their lives. We're all in this together, no matter how different I feel. And there's no better man to elevate us all than Barack Obama. How lucky we are, indeed!

That evening, I finally left the house with my mom and Eric and went into town. I felt kindof frail and didn't want to be overwhelmed by the affluent beauty of downtown Los Gatos. We entered the ritzy apple store and I bought an i-phone, so that I could get in touch with people right away. We walked past the Lamborghini store with polished bright orange, red and yellow cars flashing in the window displays and past $400 toasters on display at Williams Sonoma to a Thai food restaurant and it was nice, but American Thai. I sent a little prayer of gratitude up into the sky for that last bowl of Thai soup I had at the floating market --- spicy and authentic. I'll miss that, but am lucky to have had it at all!
The next day, my pal Jodi invited me up to San Francisco to go to the Museum of Modern Art with she and our other friend Kelli. I smiled as I drove up Highway 280 in all of it's green beauty. The horses and cows grazed upon the undeveloped rolling hills that cascaded into the San Andreas . The pine and redwood covered Santa Cruz mountains rise up and over to the Pacific Ocean on one side and the San Francisco Bay extends on the other side. The clouds were silvery bright as the sun peaked from behind. I love Northern California!
I drove into San Francisco and the skyline took my breath away, per usual. I marvelled at the neatness of the pastel high rises with steel and windows, surrounded by water. I felt that familiar sense of wonder with the city and realized I'd rather live in this city than any other city on earth. Slowly, my phone started ringing, as one by one, my long lost friends called me and we began to make plans for a reunion. I floated along the streets to meet Jodi and Kelli on the busy commercial street and when I saw them, it was as if I'd just seen them yesterday.
We decided not to go to the MOMA and instead to have bananas in the park and talk. We discussed the possibility of me writing a book and my experiences in India, with yoga and romance. Jodi spoke of how she was laid off and her love life. Kelli spoke of teaching yoga and admitted that she burned the $80 teapot that I entrusted to her to a crisp. "I can't believe I spent so much money on a teapot," I thought.
That night, I went on a date with a man that I had dated several times before I left. He moved to NYC about the same time I left. He moved back to CA (after being laid off) on the same day that I did. Again, it was as if I had seen him yesterday. He told me I seemed calmer. Kelli and Jodi said the same thing. We went into the jacuzzi at his apartment complex and it was HEAVEN to be submerged in popping hot water! I loved it. We had a very nice evening and I found myself seeing him differently than I ever had before. I saw so acutely how unavailable I had been one year before - emotionally. I was always too busy to make any plans with him and brushed him off again and again and again as I juggled so many things with the little personal time that I had. Now that I was able to just relax with him, our conversation took a deeper path and I saw him for the first time as a genuinely good guy that emigrated all the way over from Serbia on his own to start a life in the United States. I respected him for that courage - all I can say is I finally SAW him -- and I believe it was nice for both of us. I felt calm in his presence and he felt calm in mine. We relaxed without tension.
The next day, I helped Jodi prepare for her dinner party. I walked her dog to the grocery store. I was bundled in a hat, gloves and a leather coat with fur collar and cuffs, jeans and black boots. Within one day, I morphed into a San Franciscan and I loved being right back there. I saw that San Francisco, here I come, was my immediate future. But it's not going to be easy to find a place to live and a job, perhaps. Jodi has a fabulous industrial loft downtown that is too much money to pay for someone with no salary. Yet, she genuinely knows that she need not worry. How she has this wisdom is beyond me, but I know she's right. I feel the same way unless I choose to travel down the stressed out route. I see the beauty in her calm amidst all the stress and I gained a newfound respect for her, too. Suddenly, I'm seeing all of these people that have been close to me as really good, courageous, brave, brilliant beings and I feel so lucky to be their friend. The dinner party was a success and the women that came were the typical San Franciscan women: 30ish, attractive, well traveled, sophisticated, funny and sassy. All unmarried, but 50% were in serious relationships resulting from online dating! I can't imagine dating online again, but that's precisely how I met the man I went on a date with two nights ago over one year past. The circle rotates again. What a strange life. What a strange city. And I love it. It's great to be home.